i try not to cut myself. i really do but it almost feels like i need to. that hurts. i went almost a month without cutting and then i broke down one day. i cut myself so much that i started to bleed from everywhere. my parents found me lying in a pool of blood. and still i cut because i don’t know what else to do. i hate myself so much. i wish i could stop like you do. i don’t want to need to feel the sting of the blade anymore.

September 20, 2011

Anonymous asked: i try not to cut myself. i really do but it almost feels like i need to. that hurts. i went almost a month without cutting and then i broke down one day. i cut myself so much that i started to bleed from everywhere. my parents found me lying in a pool of blood. and still i cut because i don't know what else to do. i hate myself so much. i wish i could stop like you do. i don't want to need to feel the sting of the blade anymore.

I see were you are and i know you feel like your stuck, but i know you because i was you recently. Really right now i want you to realize how amazing making one month self-harm free is. Cutting once doesn’t wipe that away you still have that month, its your to keep forever. I hear you know that you are going to far with this, its gotten bad, but this is only the start. You have to find ways to distract yourself, i take showers or play guitar, and you have to try to stop the way you talk to yourself. Just when ever you say, im ugly or worthless, say no to it. You dont have to start telling yourself your beautiful everyday, just dont let yourself be so ruthless. i encourage you also to find help like a guidance councilor or a therapist. you can do this on your own but sometimes its easier to have someone help you

Life is beautiful and so are you, hold onto it

You are lovely and your pain is hell, but it does not rule you