December 2011
1 post
heartbrokenbitchez asked: For a little more than four months ago, I started drinking. Two months ago, I started smoking. I'm not addicted though. And yesterday I started cutting myself. I've had 4 suicidal thoughts in the last 9 months. My bestfriends keep telling me I need to stop all that. But I can't. It's too hard. They tell me to promise that I'll stop. So I do. But haven't stopped. I...
November 2011
2 posts
4 tags
i almost got institutionalized today, but the doctor decided that the out patient program would be the best fit for me instead.
if you have ever been in this situation you know how scary it is, but these places can sometimes help or at least get you to another place that can help you better.
Please share your experiences with institutionalization, positive or negative, to help others going...
October 2011
21 posts
Anonymous asked: you've helped me a ton. thank you. i hope you are doing well. the world needs more people like yourself. <3
seduktive asked: I really love your blog. I wish there were more people who went out of their way to help others. Never stop <3 <3 <3
Anonymous asked: so ive had depression for 3 years now. just last year i got told i have major depression and will have a hard time living for the rest of my life. and that ill probly have depression in my life no matter what happens. i get bullyed at school. even by some of my close friends. my family dont even understand what im going through and just add to my depression. ive tryed suside a lot. but it never...
“Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.”
– Albus Dumbledore (via 1etsbefree)
this blog is amazing it made me smile c: →
Anonymous asked: so i screwed things up with some friends and now i have no one. i'm alone. and it sucks. this has happened so many times before. honestly, i dont think i can manage to make it through again.
Anonymous asked: sure, if i tell people i'm hurting, they care. they dont want me to cut. they dont want me to have suicidal thoughts. whatever. but otherwise, i'm ignored. i dont want to ask for attention. i want someone to sincerely care about me. is that selfish?
1 tag
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i want you to stop for second, to look around you...
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C.L.: Courage →
cassielives:
I think I just have to remind myself everyday to be as strong as I can. No matter what. Just keep trying. Even when things seem so daunting and scary. Just to find something worth fighting for. Buddhism says that life is characterised by suffering. That it’s expected, not something that happens…
Anonymous asked: i need advice, if that's okay? i used to cut and have little panic attacks whenever i got overwhelmed that only stopped when i cut and calmed down. i started cutting again and i starting panicking again. i'm scared. i don't know what to do, but i think i need some kind of advice/help. i don't want someone to see me when i freak out. and i'm struggling to hide my scars. i...
dr1zzle asked: you're now my grandmother c: don't take that the wrong way, in my family my granny gives the best advice and keeps the peace
Anonymous asked: this might be really dumb but thank you for posting this... : "you are worth it know this now.you are full of love and you may feel broken and wounded but it is this that makes you beautiful.Feel your self breathing right now..." i read it during one of my classes earlier today. and i'm incredibly good about not showing emotions in front of people but i pretty much cried during that...
dr1zzle asked: hey, just wanted to say your blog is amazing and you do so much for others it's inspiring, you're a really good person. I confess i'm an ex self-harmer too but i haven't cut in 3 months c: and im keeping it that way. I just wanted to ask will you be in my tumblr family?
September 2011
39 posts
9 tags
Anonymous asked: as much as i try, i cant stop cutting. i thought i had gotten over it. i was good, i had stopped. and then i started again. it's consuming me. it's the only thing that can stop me from falling apart in front of people. or from crying my eyes out every night. i dont know if its a good thing or a bad thing at this point. i feel so defeated. by something i'm causing.
love-every-imperfection asked: so in this past year i've dealt with divorce drama in my parents and a lot of shit went down and by the end i was suicial and depressed. i met a great guy and i'm passed all that and havent had problems for a long time. but now all the sudden my dad & sister have been calling me a bitch non-stop and i wanna die. mainly because i am really not a bitch whatsoever. but my sister on the...
Anonymous asked: you give me hope. whenever i consider doing something i shouldnt, i think of you first, and reconsider. thank you. <3
you are worth it
know this now.
you are full of love and you may feel broken and wounded but it is this that makes you beautiful.
Feel your self breathing right now and know that it is right because you deserve each beat that your heart makes.
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Anonymous asked: my 'best friend' knows almost everything about me. she's knows how hard it is for me to connect with people. and she knows how much i struggle with being outgoing. the last few weeks, she's ignored me, she blew me off a few times, the only time she has time for me is when she needs something. she's being a bitch and i can't find the words to talk to her. i don't...
Anonymous asked: i cut i starve and i vomit. i'm only 14 and i dunno what to do. i'm trying to stop, i really am. i'm seeing the school councilor, she's amazing at what she does. but my friends at school cut, and 3 of them have already been dobbed into the principle and parents. i know im next as well. if my parents found out, my life would be over, everything and all my freedom would be taken...
healedbyhappiness asked: I just read part of your blog and you are INCREDIBLE. from a girl that hates herself and doesn't get any support on anything i choose to do, this gives me hope. thank you.
Anonymous asked: my mom was telling me how she no longer trust me, i am not allowed sleepovers or to go anywhere without her physically dropping me off. I was so confused, i didnt know what shes talking about. When i went into my room i saw that my VERY private journal, that noone not even my best friend on the planet is aloud to read has been read by her. Which means she now knows about me cutting,drinking and...
Anonymous asked: i cant. i just cant. i want to cut. burn myself. my life, i know its not gonna be perfect. and i know its gonna be worse, but i cant take it. if i leave i know i think people wont care, the only thing keeping me here is the fact that i dont wanna make things hard for my sister. can this just be easy? can i do this without affecting anyone around me. why?...
Anonymous asked: it's dumb, but i love that you follow me. i feel like someone actually cares about my well-being. idk. it's just nice. <3
Anonymous asked: i drew a butterfly, thinking it would help. but it doesn't have anyone to be named for. it doesn't have a purpose. so what's the point?
Anonymous asked: it never seems like anyone loves me. everyone takes advantage of me. they use me. its okay if i name the butterfly after you right? my parents are gone, i barely have any friends. and my sisters never home. i have no one. no one loves me marti. ):
youarejustanotherprettyface asked: thanks for the follow.blogs like this make me feel better, it's just someone to listen.
Anonymous asked: i try not to cut myself. i really do but it almost feels like i need to. that hurts. i went almost a month without cutting and then i broke down one day. i cut myself so much that i started to bleed from everywhere. my parents found me lying in a pool of blood. and still i cut because i don't know what else to do. i hate myself so much. i wish i could stop like you do. i don't want to...
Anonymous asked: How do you stay so strong?
Anonymous asked: marti, what if you cant name the butterfly after someone who loves you, because no one loves you? ):
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four years without self harm
jonstewarts-sexslave:
in a couple weeks, tt’s been four years since i stopped self-harming. My god. Anytime i get stressed out to the point of breaking, i remember how long its been. Also, i remember how strong i was when i made that decision and that i still have that strength. four fucking years…..unbelievable.
the-ugly-truth-xo asked: You're ridiculously beautiful <3
6 tags
you, right now, this is you
Whole [hohl]
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: entire, complete
Synonyms: accomplished, all, completed, concentrated, conclusive, consummate, every, fixed, fulfilled, full, in one piece, inclusive, integral, outright, perfect, plenary, rounded, total, unabbreviated, unabridged, uncut, undivided, unexpurgated
arealbigfanofyours asked: Dear Marti, I just wanted to say that I stumbled across your blog a couple weeks ago and it really inspired me. I am a member of the Butterfly Project and with your help and the help of my boyfriend Matt, I am making a recovery from my selfharm addiction, so thank you! I will submit my butterfly tattoo in a week or so when I get it :) Love, Michael<3
recovering-slowly asked: I was just thinking about cutting and your blog helped me. Thank you so much for that. <3 You are an amazing person.
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you are lovely and your pain is hell but it does...
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